I’ve been on a kick with lists here lately on the blog and I’m going to continue that trend today, but with just two things. These are just things that have been swirling around in my mind about life and such, and I wanted to share them. Are you ready? Here we go.
#1 – We have arrived.
This phrase inspires all sorts of images of having made it. Most people interpret that as all goals accomplished and the new Ferrari arrives on Wednesday. However, that’s not what I mean.
A big part of the college experience was dreaming of our futures. So many late nights spent discussing where we hoped to go once we left university, so many conversations with advisers and professors about career paths and long-term goals. This time in our lives was just an extension of the high school years, where we were studying and dreaming about life once we got in the real world and were fully in charge of our own lives.
One of the most frustrating things for me about being in school was feeling like I was stuck in stasis, focusing on school instead of building my life like some others my age. Don’t get me wrong. I loved my college experience and wouldn’t trade it, but I feel like it does put you in stasis on life for a while. That’s probably why some people are so afraid to leave college, that stasis is a safety bubble.
Sometime within the last year or so, particularly after Jelly Bean was born, it dawned on me: I’m not in stasis anymore. This is it. This is what I was working towards when I was in college. Does it look anything like I imagined? No. Do I have my “dream job” and all that entails? Heck no. But still. This is it. This is life.
What does that mean? For me personally, realizing that I’m living what I’ve been planning for for most of my life makes me feel almost giddy. Also, I feel incredibly thankful and like, if this is it, I need to be enjoying every second of it and making the most of the life I’ve been given. As far as we can be sure of, we only get one lifetime y’all.
#2 – I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing.
It’s taken me a few years, but I feel like even as a veteran writer, I’ve entered a new phase. I’m back to my high school habit of always having a notebook on me, always having my WIP on me. One of my biggest regrets in college was that I lost that piece of myself, giving into the shiny lure of the laptop and losing the longhand aspect of writing. More than that though, I’ve finally hit a phase of being able to finish what I started. I just don’t have patience for anything else. I cannot move forward as a writer unless I finish what I started.
It’s an extension of #1, but I’ve realized I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing. I’m a writer always writing. I almost always have my WIP in a notebook with me. I write nearly every day, and currently haven’t missed a day in 38 days. I may not be any closer to publication than I was a year ago, but I feel happy, blissful, ecstatic even, with what I’m doing.
It’s a simple realization, but these two things put all the bad days into perspective. Life’s not perfect. I have had and will have nights where I burst into tears because Jelly Bean wakes up every single time I try to set her down. There will be days where it seems like everything that could go wrong, did. There will be days I want to send Bear to his corner and not speak to him for a while (almost 11 years into our relationship, it happens).
Bad days do not equal a bad life.
Another aspect of college life was a feeling of freedom and possibility that died a quiet little death immediately after graduation. It’s taken time, but I have managed to frankenstein those sensations back to life with the help of a good vibes, positive attitude only mindset. It’s all about perspective, and we create our reality with our thoughts. A dear friend of mine believes that when they say God created us in his image, they did not mean a literal physical appearance, they meant the power to create with our thoughts. It’s an empowering idea. What we tell ourselves, we believe. What we believe, we create. Dismiss it as new age, hippy crap, but I think it’s true. I seriously doubt our creator put us here to be miserable, so get to finding your happy, seeking your bliss, and creating your best life.
Okay, new age, self-help rant over. Back to our regularly scheduled snark. Have a good day everyone!
Kelswitch, over and out.