This Is Not An Error – Just Mad Rambling

We are six days into National Novel Writing Month and already I’ve hit the lows and highs of it. Monday night, otherwise known as day two, was a low. The story wasn’t working and I was ready to cry in frustration because I had it planned out but still wasn’t sure what to do with it. So I walked away from it for the night after only writing 200 words and slept on it. The next day, I mulled over the problem from morning, through the working hours, and came home that night set on trying again. I deleted my 2,000 odd words and started over. That night, I banged out just over 4,000 words in that story and as of yesterday, had managed to get a day ahead. I haven’t written anything yet today. But I will.

I feel like this has been a tumultuous year, which is strange because it’s almost the most stable year I’ve had in a long time. By that I mean I’m working a steady job and not traveling back and forth from college or trying to find a job. I’m married and not dealing with the frustrations of a five year engagement anymore. We’ve officially been living in our place for a year and a half almost. We are the poster child for steady and reliable this year. We even got a dog. And yet, it is still not smooth sailing. My body may be in a nice and safe routine, but my mind is running all over the place, screaming fire and murder and mayhem.

It’s strange to be in my head some days, but I think most people can say that at one point or another.

Blogging has been important to me for several years now. I started doing it back in 2011, at the latest (I can’t remember the exact date, and my original blogs have been deleted). That’s at least four years of free handing my thoughts and putting them out to you, my reader, without much editing or heavy consideration. I think things and BAM, you get to read them. What a wonderful world we live in.

I’m grateful that I had blogging when I was in college. Even the deleted posts are still something to show for my time there, to show that I was writing. Any story I may have been writing at the time has been lost into the abyss of multiple files on my old laptop. It all feels like a foggy haze right now. Other than my little kick on back in 2010/2011, I don’t remember much about what I was writing in those days. I knew I was a writer and that was what I would always be, but I was wandering around without any real purpose. I graduated in a big ole puff of “What the hell am I going to do next?” The smoke is still clearing on that one.

I finished a story last month. A 200 page composition notebook from Dollar General, with 194 pages filled with a finished story. Finished. Done. Complete. Other than some work in 2013, I haven’t had that in a long time, and I have to say it felt amazing. It still feels amazing. It makes me want to write even more and with 2016 fast approaching, I’ve got plans buzzing around in my skull like a hive of bees. Not a single one involve publishing or marketing of my work in any way. And that makes me incredibly happy. It takes the pressure off. It makes me write just for the hell of it, for that high I get when I put in a 16 page or 4,000 word day.

It feels…authentic.

Stop laughing.

I think I am going to be able to finish NaNoWriMo again this year successfully, maybe even with a stronger finish than last year. I’ve got a composition project (another 200 page notebook) I am also working on at the same time. My goal is to have it at 100 pages or around there by December 1st, then spend December finishing it up so I can start the new year with a clean slate. And I’ve already got an idea or two for what I want to write next. The next two months are going to be full, and I’m afraid the Kelswitch will be sorely neglected as it has been already in the last two months. So I’m going to take a break from it for now. My hope is to start back in 2016 strong and fresh, ready to come at you at least once a week with fresh brain vomit.

Ahem. I mean well written, edited posts about things that matter.

Stop laughing.

As always, if you read the Kelswitch, I appreciate you and wish you all the best. Thank you for putting up with my nonsense. See you in 2016. If you want to chat in the meantime, I’m on Twitter @Carolina_Kel and my NaNo username is the same. Let’s be buddies!

Much love,
Carolina Kel

This entry was posted in Kelswitching & Reflecting, National Novel Writing Month, Writers & Writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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