I’ve been stewing on this for a long while, as it is something I’m sure most of us can relate to in some small way. If you’ve ever been in any sort of relationship with a gamer, I’m talking to you.
The Neurotic Gamer did a beautiful post describing what it means to be a gamer, and I recommend you check that out here. She said it better than I ever could, which means the standard for this type of post has been set incredibly high. It’s always good to have a challenge.
It is one thing to recognize being a gamer, but like so many other things it can become a point of disagreement in a romantic relationship. There’s the stereotype of the girlfriend tapping her foot in annoyance while her boyfriend/man child enters his 1,000th match of Call of Duty multiplayer. But is that stereotype even relevant anymore? More and more women are picking up the controller and making our presence known across the platforms and it is awesome. However, I still hear tales of relationships in peril because someone doesn’t know when to put down the controller or someone is being made to give up gaming completely.
It’s a delicate balance, being in a relationship. Once you get past the puppy love stage where everything the other person does is adorable, it’s a tug of war between what you want and what is best for your relationship. I’ve been with the same man for seven years and the balance is still tipped sometimes.
Here’s the thing. I’ve never wanted to be the girlfriend/wife that takes her man away from something he enjoys. I certainly never want to be the thing standing between him and his friends. But he games a lot more than I do and when it’s a week night and I just want to curl up with my husband and watch a movie, and instead he’s up to his eyeballs in strikes on Destiny, it can be frustrating.
It’s a tug of war, a delicate balance, and a good piece of advice is everything in moderation, compromise. Even if I had never picked up a controller, Bear and I would have found a balance that worked for us because that’s what you do in a relationship. But I did pick up the controller and met Bear on the Xbox to do something with him that we both can enjoy.
I can’t tell people how to handle their relationships, but if gaming is higher on your list of priorities than your significant other, maybe it’s time to have a chat. If you’re giving up everything you enjoy to make your significant other happy, maybe it’s time to have a chat. You have meet in the middle and find a balance, if you want it to work.