As far as our county courthouse is concerned, Bear and I have been married for two months today. The ceremony was on the 11th, but the 12th was our actual anniversary so we wanted that to be our official wedding date, without having a wedding and super awesome reception the night before everyone went back to work. It worked out pretty well, actually.
People always ask how married life is treating us and frankly, I give them a very boring answer. Nothing’s changed. The only difference now is I get to call him my husband instead of fiancé (which I’m convinced is an overly awkward word) and I have two rings on my left ring finger instead of the one. It does make me insanely happy to see my wedding rings together and it also makes me insanely happy to see Bear wearing his black tungsten band.
But everything else between us is as it’s always been. We work, we cook supper, and we play video games together. I write on the couch. He watches the WWE Network. We talk and laugh and fuss over things and people we know. Nothing has changed.
We got married to make that ultimate commitment to each other in the eyes of the law and in front of our friends and family, but we made the commitment to each other years ago, when we were both still in high school. It makes me think of the old debate of whether or not marriage matters anymore. People can commit and live together and love each other without all the hassle and paperwork and paying the county $60 for a marriage license.
But it’s more than that. It’s a spiritual thing. It’s a sentimental thing. It’s making something real and important even more solid and physical in the real world. Marriage does matter, and people who understand that should also be able to understand why others want it too, even if they love someone of their own gender.
I am very happily married and after watching some people I know go through the ups and downs in their own relationships, I think I know what makes me and Bear work. We get along very well, which is a key thing, but it’s also that commitment thing I was talking about. From the beginning, we knew we were going to be together. We decided that was what we wanted and since then, everything else has been details. That doesn’t mean we haven’t had our issues, but it does mean that at the end of the day, we still come back together to work it out, because we decided this thing between us is important and deserves to be treated as such.
On a side note, we’ve got less than two weeks until Christmas and things are getting busier all the time. I’m hoping to post an update on the Composition Challenge soon. Also, we are less than three weeks away from the unveiling of my new side project. It’s nothing too big or fancy, but I’m excited about it and I hope the ones I made it for enjoy it too.