Doubt is often tied up in our fear of what other people think or feel about us. When I first start blogging a few years ago, I doubted that it was worth it because it seemed no one really cared but me. Then I stopped caring what they thought and I haven’t doubted blogging since. Sometimes writing these little bits of my thoughts down and posting for the world to see feels like taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. When I don’t get to do it that often, I miss it.
It’s been only a week since my last post, and yet it feels almost like an eternity. We finally set a date for our wedding. I stepped away from something that was giving me more stress than it was worth. I’m keeping in a morning writing routine.
Now I just need to get into an exercise routine. It’s easier to set a time to spit out a few hundred words into Microsoft Word than it is to set a time for my body to spit out a few hundred calories. If only the playing field was level between them.
After five years of waiting, it feels like why make a big deal about it, you’ve dragged it out this long. Just go to the courthouse and be done with it. There is a voice in my head that tells me to do just that. It whispers doubts in my ear that anyone really cares about celebrating our wedding. It’s the same voice that says why write? No one will ever read it.
You want to know something? I stopped listening to that voice’s whisperings about my writing a long time ago. The wedding, however, may not be so easy. It’s irrational, but fears usually are. I’m excited and terrified at the same time that we’re finally going to commit and get married. And we only have three months to plan it.
Well, this mad little writer is going to need all the help she can get, that’s for sure.